The enigma that is English...

I find myself having UTMOST respect for all the poor souls who do not have English as a 1st language yet are forced to learn it. Being one of the most widely spoken languages of the world, you would think that it would be more accomodating right? For starters, there are versions: British,American, Australian,NewZealand, Shakespearan bluh bluh which means once you open your mouth, you are bound to be accosted with the 3 million dollar question 'where's your accent from'? I come from a country that is a former British colony. In their enthusiasm to spread the good word and educate the creatures of the black continent, the queen's loyal subjects hastily drafted up a 'Cambridge' syllabus and hence the birth of a, e, i, o.....
English has also managed to complicate issues more by having several words to mean the same thing, infact this issue is such a puzzle that one needs a thesaurus.
I once saw a funky word, 'miasma' and despite the exotic sound in it, the damn word is synonymous to cloud/haze/fog e.t.c. BUT you will never hear me say, 'Whoa dude! you best take your umbrella man, there's lots of miasma outside!'...Uummm on the same note does miasma have a plural? can you actually form a sentence with miasma?
Thanks to El Nino, were having dry weather and lots of haze (or is it miasma) in KL?
This issue hangs over my head like a bad miasma?
I mean really at which point can a line be drawn here?....
One of the expressions I have always found strange is 'the falling of trees'. Apparently I cannot say that my brother and I went to the woods last week and felled some trees, or can I?after all the past tense of fall is fell or how about next week we shall fall some trees? ...
I could go on and on but me reckons I have made me point.
Im laughing my head off trying to imagine a conversion between any given fox and vixen in some shakespear lingo in this era...whats a 'nyas' anyway?
And ofcourse expressions in English from one english speaker to another....'Its all Greek to me'-surely if I was Greek how should I interpret this?
All this wondering is driving me nuts!(again whats the connection between driving and nuts)
6.51pm: The journey to my abode is nigh. I beg to take leave.

pss: I scored a very decent grade at English all thru my schooling years. Im not having as much luck with Spanish though..

top 5 for 05

According to Nacho, there are 5 top things I should remember for 05...
a) If I should go to the Himalayas, I should not drink water from the spring.
Entreprenurs always use the 'mountainfresh/spring clean' slogan on sell mineral water and while Im not convinced of this, I shall certainly not be drinking off the Himalayas..its been known to cause chronic conditions that hamper ones career path and lifeline..
b) Do not fry bacon naked
Damn there goes my motive to lessen the inhibitions! Enter the garments -the visual of saturday morning with a frying moment gone wrong is enough to change my mind about breakfast
c) Buy an accacia tree and plant it in the middle of my living room
Now this one I DIG! Im working on a proposal whose sole objective is to convince the immi officials that all I want is to diversify the landscape....
d) Celebrate the end of the 'international year of rice', 2004 that is...more updates on this shall come up soon..Rice is life nanananana, rice is life nanananana!
e)Most importantly when things get thick, I shall not JUMP!..
After all I work on the 2nd flr. If I were to jump, I'd probably not do too much damage and would instead incur major health bills..Not Hot!

Thanks Nach, I should have a pretty kool year in light of a-e

xmas in Kenya 100:A festive season

I have finally got over the festivities and thus would like to give a proper account of what happens over christmas in Kenya. For the benefit of all here's an acacia....see the beautiful blue african sky, imagine a comfortable 24-25 degrees, no humidity, cool breeze.. The short rains had made it in time so as the plane descended the view below was of the green green grass of home:) and pools of water that reminded one about the inefficiency of the city council to edit the drainage system that existed since the colonial days!
....
Cock crowing, amazing sunrise, yet another xmas morning was here. The order of the day really is eating with family...and so eat we did ...goat roasted over an open fire eaten alongside some awesome delicacies is really the highlight of this day in my community and so the fowl were spared.....
(huh! I always said 4 legs aint everything)

and the poor billy was sent to goat heaven in order to fulfill his task of feeding the folk...
(Dios mio, bless this rib which has been plucked from the lil' g formally known as goat! ...)
It certainly beats having cup noddles on the 17th flr of my crib.

And then there's the after party with my little cousins and bro'

And now Kenya 100:
a) there's an odd phenomenon that occurs every public holiday in Kenya. This phenomenon is the mad dash and drama that occurs at the bus stations amongst city dwellers heading for their rural homes to join their families in festivities. You will spot buses with overloaded rooftops(bicycles,beds,wheelbarrows,goats..I kid you NOT!) and ofcourse the proverbial chicken which can be seen on the trip to and fro. The type of load depends on the route that the bus is plying all I can say is, its sight to behold.
b)despite the equator dividing kenya into almost two equal halves, we have 5 different climatic zones. We do not have the 4 seasons instead we have 2 major rain patterns cleverly referred to as the short and rainy season. Your study in rocket science should highlight that short rains last for a shorter duration than the long one, yes, Yes!
c) On christmas day, the churches fill to the brim and the pubs with an almost equal number of revellers. On New Year's eve, I believe in many a homes, the parents head to church and those nasty youth head off to the klub! at midnight smses wishing each other happy new year! ping pong between the pews and the bar counters. Ofcourse you only recieve them the next day because the waves are jammed....So I saved mine till last week and sent them off to one and all..so here goes Happy New Year folks!

So in a nutshell, I had one helluva time back in the cradle..the hots and nots will come up soon enough..