Starting the 4th

2007 is already rolling by pretty fast...just the other day we were toasting at a new year's party and now we're already midmonth and on this end of the world, that means its almost time for the tangerine extravangaze characteristic of the chinese new year festivities.
Global warming has taken its toll on the planet with reduction of snow in normally snowy regions, rain throughout December in Kenya and more strange phenomenon. But this is not what the post is about....

Yesterday Jan 11th, marked my 4th year in Malaysia. I had actually forgotten about it until later in the evening and now I can't get that digit out of my mind. My good friend Hannu wasnt going to let me forget it either by constanly reminding me that if I stayed 1 more year, I would be here for half a decade! For some reason I cannot comprehend, I'm having completely mixed feelings about this 4 year business. I've been pacing up and down, walking round in a circle(in my mind i.e) trying to figure out why my first reaction was not to jump in glee. No need to brand me an ingrate and don't get me wrong. Its an absolute blessing to have the chance that I have and experience the things, places, and most importantly PEOPLE that I have met along my journey thus far. I guess the uneasiness is the combination that comes when I do self-stock taking. I cannot help but wonder if that duration can account for itself. Questions like what next? Is this my place? come to mind more often now and while there is an understable fear of coming to terms with the answers to these questions and more, there is also an excitment that comes with the acknowledgment that there is always a choice and chance. A choice to stay or go, a chance to stay or go, an opportunity to think this through ....
So then, while my internal struggles continue, I whisper a word of gratitude to the man above and anticipate some guidance.
Have one on me...I'm already doing so on my end...